Struggling.
Start of week 3 of medical school.
I do not know exactly where to begin...
I went snorkeling the other weekend-it was gorgeous and fun. I went with my family who is visiting and we went to the underwater sculpture park. We took a boat out there and swam with the fish and in some beautiful water under a sky with a rainbow. Sail boats were going by....it looked like paradise.
However, do you know how much salt water I swallowed?
I feel like my time so far in regards to figuring out my learning style and learning the information has been like breathing out of a snorkel. At first I am ok, but then a large wave comes crashing over and influxes my breathing apparatus with a gallon of salt water. I choke and choke and try to get some air, but some water still lingers in the tube and the process happens repeatedly-sometimes from big waves and other times from more subtle immersions of myself into the deeper areas of the water. This is just like the feeling I have with the information being taught in class...I feel like I am on the brink of not being able to breath-but for some reason, am able to find air even for a brief yet very relieving moment. It is not a comfortable feeling but I suppose that I will never truly be comfortable-rather, I need to cope with it in a way that I can live with and maintain a sense of clarity and balance.
It has been a tough experience -not because of the information or the environment, but because I still have not quite found my rhythm of what works for me in regards to information recall-that is a very unnerving feeling. I am finding my rhythm in a piece by piece fashion-however that takes time upon which I feel like I do not have...
Someone shared this with me today...
"Just think, you're not here by chance, but by God's choosing.
His hand formed you and made you the person you are.
He compares you to no one else-
you are one of a kind, you lack nothing that His grace can't give you.
He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill his special purpose for this generation."
To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Ps. On a side note-my family came into my dorm today and did a complete overhaul! They organized everything and brought all the stuff that I was unable to initially bring. I am sitting in a now comfortable dorm room that smells good, is clean and has an ABUNDANCE of sticky notes everywhere from when my brother labeled all of my stuff-
-M.H-
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